Saturday, November 13, 2010

Nearly- Normal still isn't Normal

Tomorrow is our annual Texans tailgate party at church. Its really awesome. There are several teams working over night to make the best BBQ and a carnival and games, and a silent auction. Should be a great time. However I am nervous and anxious. I kind of want to just stay in bed!! While everybody is trying all different kinds of BBQ I will either not eat anything or spend my day asking what went into their sauce and explaining my reaction to gluten.
I wish I could just go and eat. Not think about it. Not have to worry if I can share a drink with Hannah or if anything touches my food. I signed up to bring cookies. Gluten free cookies of course! So I decided to put them in baggies and label them gluten free. And it made me so sad. To think that these might be the only thing I can eat tomorrow. I did it because surely in a church of a couple of thousand people someone else has celiac disease and would appreciate them. But that little voice whispers "everyone is going to look at them and think something is wrong with them, they will not get eaten and you will have wasted your time." I know this isn't the truth but I am tired and worn out.
I bought some special flour. Its called Jules Nearly Normal Flour. What a name to make someone feel un-normal. So I guess I am not normal, I'm just nearly normal.